What are the signs and symptoms of such obsessive behavior? I decided to investigate.
Before determining if I'm actually a bridezilla I first felt the necessity to define the term. I typed "define bridezilla" into google and found the following from Wikipedia:
"Bridezilla (a portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends and bridal vendors in her wake. A bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day and will disregard the feelings of the family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest for the perfect wedding
The first known citation was in The Boston Globe, June 29, 1995[1]. A story about Bridezilla and a cartoon ran for six issues of Modern Bride magazine in 1999/2000.
An article on Slate magazine[2] suggests that the clinical diagnosis of acquired situational narcissism may be appropriate for the condition.
Cartoon from SavageChickens.com
Yikes!! Scary stuff. Ok, I think I'm safe (at least for now) as I haven't yet stepped on toes and have not been diagnosed with acquired situational narcissism. Extensive planning and dreaming of wedding ideas might be a necessary but not sufficient condition for qualifying for bridezilla-dom..... would you agree??
That said, I do think I qualify for some kind of portmanteau (this is my new word of the day) that describes not exactly squashing anyone but being obsessed with planning & talking about my wedding all the time. I guess I'm just really excited but I know people are probably sick of hearing about wedding plans & progress. However, it's so hard NOT to talk about this when you are spending so much time and energy in this project.
All this contemplation brings up a good question. When & how much is it appropriate to ask friends and family members for help in wedding planing process without being a bridezilla? and if you DO ask for help (say you'd like some help from Aunt Suzi-que to explore options for the rehearsal dinner) are you obligated to just go with whatever solution they find?
I feel like this gets kind of sticky. On one hand, I want (and really need) help and would LOVE to outsource some of the items on the massive to do list. On the other hand, how do you avoid conflict and hurt feelings if someone does do something for you but does a sub-par job or the more likely scenario of despite your guidance comes up with something totally different than what you'd envisioned? (and not in a good tasteful way).
How do you manage this ahead of time so it doesn't result in either actual (or perceived) Bridezilla behavior?
Is it better just not to ask for help at all? Or maybe you should wait until you have a very specifically defined task. For example, can you help me gather beach sand for this centerpiece I've designed (vs. please help me come up with a centerpiece).
In the end, I think it's all about balance. It's important to remember that relationships with those that you hold dearest (friends, family) are way more important than any one event - even a wedding.
P.S. If I forget that please slap me upside the head!
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